Do Yourself a Favour

This episode is a spontaneous, real-time reflection on the creator's ongoing journey. They record their thoughts about their process, what they've learned, and where they want to go next.They realize they've been stuck in a cycle of apologizing and over-sharing struggles, and decide to shift toward showing up as an unapologetic expert and whole person while remaining honest and useful to others.

Tam Callaghan sits down with her friend and former colleague Kate Fandry for a wide-ranging, deeply honest conversation about late ADHD diagnosis, what it actually feels like to finally have an explanation for a lifetime of experiences, and how Kate is channelling everything she's learned into a brand new career as a celebrant. 
Kate was diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, and as a Highly Sensitive Person after an epic burnout that had been building for years. In this first part they cover what the signs looked like in childhood, how hyperactivity presents differently in girls, what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria actually feels like day to day, how to manage sensitivity without shutting yourself down, and why so many neurodiverse people are drawn to each other. 
They also get into managing news consumption, parenting a sensitive child, environmental sensitivities, and the pivotal moments that led Kate to retrain as a celebrant. 
Warm, funny, and genuinely eye-opening whether you have a diagnosis or simply recognise yourself in parts of what Kate describes. 
Part 2:  
In this episode: 
Late diagnosis vs late onset: why the distinction matters 
The burnout that finally led to Kate's diagnosis 
Childhood signs: incessant talking, hyperactivity, and coping strategies in girls 
The artist sitting story and what it reveals 
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: what it is and what it feels like in real life 
Managing sensitivity through boundaries and self-love 
Environmental sensitivities: lighting, noise, smell 
The 'porous' feeling and how to manage news consumption 
ADHD, OCD and the Highly Sensitive Person diagnosis combined 
Becoming a celebrant: why it fits and how she got there 
Fuzzy visioning: how ADHD brains plan for the future 
ADHD strengths: empathy, hyperfocus and connection 
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcast Join the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/ Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studio Formerly known as the 50/50 Podcast. 
——————— Chapters 
0:00 Introduction — Guest & Topics (Late-diagnosis ADHD, New Career) 
0:29 Welcome Back & Guest Intro 
0:50 Late Diagnosis vs Late Onset — Clarifying Terms 
1:30 How We Met & Early Connection 
2:09 Being Drawn to Neurodiverse People 
2:27 Burnout That Led to Diagnosis 
3:11 Childhood Signs — Talking & Family 
4:28 ADHD Presentation in Girls (Inattentive & Hyperactive) 
5:03 Coping Strategies (Fidgeting, 'Bathroom' Breaks) 
5:58 Childhood Struggle — Sitting for an Artist 
7:30 Sensitivity, Self-Esteem & Generational Views 
8:19 Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) — What It Feels Like 
10:11 Examples of RSD in Daily Work Life 
11:59 Managing Sensitivity — Boundaries & Self-Love 
14:08 Emotional Reactivity — Public Incident Example 
16:01 Parenting & Recognising Sensitivity in Children 
18:20 Online Harassment, Keyboard Warriors & Vulnerability 
23:02 Environmental Sensitivities (Lighting, Noise, Smell) 
24:09 Assessment — ADHD, OCD & Highly Sensitive Person 
26:04 'Porous' Feeling & Managing News Consumption 
28:59 Media Diet — Choosing What to Consume for Wellbeing 
31:26 Keeping Up With Pop Culture & Parenting Relevance 
34:10 Self-Awareness & Emotional Intelligence (Wisdom) 
38:26 Becoming a Celebrant — New Career & Fit 
41:04 Choosing a Business Name — Reactions & Rationale 
45:51 Registration Process & Launch Timing 
49:09 Career Path, Pivotal Moments & Car Accident Story 
55:57 Fuzzy Visioning — Future Planning for ADHD Brains 
1:00:02 ADHD Strengths, Empathy & Closing Thoughts 
1:03:37 Closing Anecdote & End 
——————— 
#KateFandry #TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #ADHD #LateADHDDiagnosis #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RSD #HighlySensitivePerson #Neurodiversity #OCD #ADHDWomen #SensitivityAsStrength #MentalHealth #PodcastAustralia #ADHDStrengths 

Part two gets practical. In this episode Tam Callaghan walks through the gratitude practices she actually uses, including a twist on the classic three-things exercise that most people miss, and why acknowledging your own role in creating the good in your life is just as important as noticing it. 
She shares two personal examples, choosing Luna the dog after a year of persistence, and saying yes to her dream treehouse, as illustrations of what it looks like to own your wins rather than just feel lucky. She also gets into hedonic adaptation and why we stop enjoying what we've worked hard for, the Metta loving-kindness practice, and a striking story about a business success that was missed entirely because the moment wasn't absorbed. 
One practical exercise to do tonight, and a genuine argument for why you're probably already living the life you once prayed for. 
Part 1: Gratitude: The Backwards Path to More Joy - https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-j483f-1b1ade5
In this episode: 
The three gratitudes practice and how to actually make it stick 
The question to ask after each gratitude: what was it about me that helped create this? 
The Luna story: a year of effort, one brave choice, and a dog worth it 
The treehouse: luck plus courage plus saying yes 
Self-kindness and reset practices when the day starts badly 
Appreciating yourself and giving compliments without the tall poppy guilt 
Metta loving-kindness practice and how to use it 
Online cruelty, ego, and what it says about the people doing it 
Hedonic adaptation: why we stop enjoying what we've achieved 
The business success story and the moment that was completely missed 
Tonight's exercise: your gratitude list and what you created 
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcast Join the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/ Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studio Formerly known as the 50/50 Podcast. 
——————— Chapters 
0:00 Introduction: Gratitude Practice 
0:07 Writing Three Gratitudes & Practice Tips 
0:59 Reflect on Your Role in Creating Good 
1:22 Story: Choosing Luna (Dog) 
2:26 Gratitude for Home: The Treehouse 
2:52 Self-Kindness & Reset Practices 
4:14 Appreciating Yourself and Giving Compliments 
5:19 Metta (Loving-Kindness) Practice 
6:13 Online Cruelty: Ego vs Heart 
7:23 Hedonic Adaptation & Enjoying Achievements 
8:42 You Are Living the Life You Prayed For 
9:17 Business Success Story & Missing the Moment 
11:13 Practical Takeaway: Gratitude Exercise Tonight 
12:02 Closing: Like, Subscribe & See More 
——————— 
#TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #Gratitude #GratitudePractice #SelfKindness #LovingKindness #Metta #HedonicAdaptation #PersonalGrowth #Mindset #SelfCompassion #PodcastAustralia #PositivePsychology #AbundanceMindset #YouAreEnough 

Tam sits down with her friend and colleague Kate de Jong to talk about Kate's upcoming book, The Wisdumb Way: A Simple Path to Emotional Intelligence Through the Power of Paradox, co-written with EQ expert James Brydon and relationship counsellor Mauro Davide. 
The conversation starts with a statistic that is hard to shake: 95% of people think they're self-aware, but research suggests only 10 to 15% actually are. Kate calls the rare few who genuinely develop this skill unicorns, borrowing the term from Dr Tasha Eurich, and The Wisdumb Way is her attempt to help more people get there. 
They cover what self-awareness actually means (internal and external), the difference between genuine emotional intelligence and spiritual bypassing, the Dunning-Kruger effect and Mount Stupid, and the three core qualities at the heart of the book: curiosity, vulnerability, and comfort with uncertainty. Kate also walks through the Harrison Assessment's 12 paradox scales and why being extreme in any direction creates its own problems. 
Warm, wide-ranging, and genuinely useful for anyone who wants to lead better, parent better, or simply understand themselves more clearly. 
In this episode: 
The self-awareness statistic that will make you think twice 
Internal vs external self-awareness and why both matter 
What a 360 or LSI feedback process actually reveals 
Why emotional intelligence matters in leadership, parenting and relationships 
The danger of spiritual bypassing when doing inner work 
Mount Stupid, the Dunning-Kruger effect, and where most of us get stuck 
Wisdumb as paradox: being wise and dumb at the same time 
The Harrison Assessment and the 12 paradox scales 
The three core qualities: curiosity, vulnerability, comfort with uncertainty 
Applying the Wisdumb Way in real conversations 
What it costs organisations and individuals to lack self-awareness 
Book format, exercises, and launch plans 
The Wisdumb Way by Kate de Jong, James Brydon and Mauro Davide: [link when available] 
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcast Join the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/ Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studio Formerly known as the 50/50 Podcast. 
——————— Chapters 
0:00 Intro — Kate's teaser for The Wisdumb Way 
0:35 Podcast welcome and conversation setup 
0:46 Book title, subtitle and co-authors 
3:03 Kate's backstory: passion for self-awareness 
3:25 Shocking self-awareness statistic (unicorns) 
5:08 Internal vs external self-awareness explained 
5:15 360/LSI feedback — Kate's eye-opening story 
7:25 Responding to feedback: defensiveness or curiosity 
8:01 Why emotional intelligence matters (benefits) 
9:19 Parenting, patterns and avoiding damage 
11:07 Spiritual bypassing and doing the inner work 
14:49 Mount Stupid & the Dunning-Kruger effect 
16:15 Introducing wisdumb as paradox (wise & dumb) 
19:21 Confidence + humility — the beginner's mind 
21:03 Harrison assessment and the 12 paradox scales 
22:08 Flip behaviours: risks of being extreme on a scale 
27:12 The Wisdumb Way: three core qualities — intro 
27:26 Curiosity — the first core quality 
31:46 Vulnerability — strength, not weakness 
33:47 Comfort with uncertainty (faith/trust/surrender) 
36:22 James's intuition/love story — transformation 
38:41 Applying the three qualities in conversations 
45:21 Costs of lacking self-awareness & book purpose 
56:18 Book format, exercises and launch details 
1:01:39 Closing 
——————— 
#KateDeJong #TheWisdumbWay #TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #SelfAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #DunningKruger #Vulnerability #Curiosity #LeadershipDevelopment #InnerWork #PodcastAustralia #EQ #Wisdumb 

Tam Callaghan knows you've heard the word gratitude too many times. She felt the same way. This episode is her making the case that it's worth pushing through that resistance, and explaining why it actually works, not in a spiritual bypassing way, but in a genuinely practical, neurological, life-changing way. 
Drawing on Shawn Achor's research, Rick Hanson's work on absorbing positive experiences, her own VIA character strengths results, and a striking personal story about manifestation, Tam walks through three reasons gratitude matters, why most of us have the order backwards, and what it looks like to build gratitude as a daily practice rather than a mood or a mindset. 
This is part one of two. Part two goes into the practices in more depth. 
Part 2: How Gratitude Transforms Your Life - https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-5r8in-1b1adf9
In this episode: 
Why gratitude has become a buzzword and why it's still worth your attention 
Shawn Achor's TED Talk and what it showed Tam about her own brain 
VIA character strengths: what they are and how to find yours 
Three reasons gratitude matters, including why it helps you get the life you want 
Why life works backwards: gratitude first, results second 
A personal manifestation story that surprised even Tam 
Important caveats: this isn't The Secret and it doesn't mean denying hardship 
The abundance thermostat and why some people can't let good things in 
Gratitude as a muscle and a moral choice 
Rick Hanson's advice on absorbing positive experiences so they actually stick 
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcast Join the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/ Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studio Formerly known as the 50/50 Podcast. 
——————— Chapters 
0:00 Introduction — Gratitude: one of life's great ironies 
0:03 Gratitude as a buzzword — eye-rolling and resistance 
0:46 Why gratitude matters — it's simple and quick 
0:55 Influences — Shawn Achor and the VIA strengths 
1:41 My VIA results — gratitude, beauty, love 
2:43 How gratitude changes your brain and experience 
3:12 Three reasons gratitude matters 
3:38 Gratitude creates the life you want — life works backwards 
4:30 Evidence and belief — placebo, Shawn Achor, personal examples 
5:12 A story of manifestation — contacting a well-known figure 
6:22 Caveats — not The Secret; not denying hardship 
8:58 Abundance mindset — upward spiral and thermostats 
10:54 Reverse effects — baby story and doing things backwards 
11:48 Gratitude fuels creativity, relationships, and joy 
12:02 Family roots of gratitude 
13:01 Gratitude as a muscle and moral choice 
13:50 Everyday practice — noticing tea, trees, dog, light 
15:48 Absorbing positive experiences — Rick Hanson's advice 
16:30 Closing — focusing on the good and practising gratitude 
——————— 
#TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #Gratitude #ShawnAchor #RickHanson #VIAStrengths #PositivePsychology #PersonalGrowth #AbundanceMindset #Mindset #Manifestation #PodcastAustralia #GratitudePractice #MentalWellness #JoyfulLiving 

In part two of their conversation on workplace bullying, Tam Callaghan and Tanya Hallett from TIPT get into the harder question: once you know there's a problem, what do you actually do? 
They pick up where part one left off, starting with the 'money in the bank' concept and why goodwill built before a crisis is the thing that makes everything else possible. From there they move into what happens when a harmful employee has been left unmanaged for years, how fawning and placating responses develop in teams that have never seen anyone held accountable, and what a genuine team reset looks like when a new manager comes in. 
Tanya walks through a detailed case study, a respectful behaviours charter in practice, how to document incidents properly, and how to use company values and policy as the foundation for enforcing standards. There's also a rich conversation about generational change, what younger workers expect from their managers, and why seeing potential in people is one of the most powerful performance tools available. 
Practical, experienced, and exactly what organisations need more of. 
Part 1: What is Workplace Bullying - https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-xccpv-1b0fd3c
Part 3: Narcissistic Bullies - https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-arzzg-1af7f01 
In this episode: 
The 'money in the bank' concept and where it comes from 
What happens when staff are treated like children 
The long-term cost of leaving a harmful employee unmanaged 
Psychological safety, boundaries, and what accountability actually looks like 
Fawning as a trauma response in workplace settings 
Case study: Bill and new manager Bob 
How to run a team intervention using a respectful behaviours charter 
Documenting incidents: warnings, evidence, and what matters legally 
Using company values and policy to enforce standards 
Resetting norms when a new manager arrives 
Lego Serious Play and third-space conversation tools 
Generational change and what younger workers need from leadership 
Why expecting the best from people transforms performance 
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcast 
Join the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/ 
Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studio 
Formerly known as the 50/50 Podcast. 
——————— 
Chapters 
0:00 Intro — 'Money in the Bank' classroom management concept 
0:37 Applying 'money in the bank' in workplaces 
1:14 Staff treated like children — effects on behaviour 
1:34 Unmanaged harmful employee — long-term impact 
2:32 Psychological safety: boundaries and accountability 
3:37 Fairness and pillars of psychological safety 
5:57 Bullying dynamics: placating and fawning 
7:29 Fawning as a trauma/survival response 
9:09 Case study: Bill and new manager Bob 
11:17 Team intervention: respectful behaviours charter 
14:02 Documenting incidents: warnings & evidence 
15:33 Using company values and policy to enforce standards 
19:08 Restart norms: new manager reset 
22:04 Third-space conversation tools (Lego Serious Play) 
23:56 Addressing unseen behaviours and communication 
29:02 Generational change: self-care, responsibility & consequences 
32:06 Look after people: productivity and retention 
34:09 Expect the best: transform performance by seeing potential 
——————— 
#TanyaHallett #TIPT #TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #WorkplaceBullying #PsychologicalSafety #TraumaInformed #WorkplaceWellbeing #Fawning #Leadership #HRPodcast #Accountability #WorkplaceCulture #LegoSeriousPlay #PodcastAustralia 

Workplace bullying pt 2: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-krwy4-1b1acb6
Narcissistic Bullies: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-arzzg-1af7f01
Tanya Hallett from TIPT returns to talk about workplace bullying, one of the most common and costly issues she deals with, and one of the most misunderstood. In this first of two conversations, Tam and Tanya cover what bullying actually looks like in practice, what it isn't, and what organisations are getting badly wrong.
They get into the pattern Tanya sees most: a long-serving employee, a new manager with no contextual understanding, a clash that escalates fast, and a workplace that fails to step in. They also cover the legal obligations organisations have around reasonable adjustments and psychosocial safety, and why ignorance is genuinely no excuse.
There's a detailed case study on an employee with vertigo, a clear breakdown of the difference between bullying and performance management, and practical discussion of what quick and effective resolution can actually look like, including why trust built before a crisis is the thing that makes everything else easier.
In this episode:
The most common stories Tanya hears from clients about workplace bullying
Why new managers are so often the trigger
Legal obligations: what the Fair Work Act actually requires
Bullying vs performance management: how to tell the difference
Case study: the employee with vertigo and what should have happened
Workplace support plans and mental health care plans in practice
Trust, emotional intelligence and trauma-informed leadership
What a good quick resolution actually involves
HR and WHS: who owns what when it comes to psychosocial risk
The money-in-the-bank analogy for building goodwill before you need it
A preview of what's coming in part two: the 'naughty' staff member
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcastJoin the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studioFormerly known as the 50/50 Podcast.
———————Chapters
0:00 Introduction and guest bio
0:25 Welcome back & light banter
0:58 Topic overview: workplace bullying
1:05 Client stories: common themes
1:25 Lack of workplace support & consequences
2:31 New managers disrupting status quo
4:11 Legal obligations: 'ignorance is no excuse'
6:06 Bullying vs performance management
7:06 Case study: employee with vertigo
10:05 Need for workplace & mental health support plans
13:00 Trust, EI and trauma-informed leadership
18:01 Quick resolution: apology, documentation, plans
23:02 HR and WHS: overlapping responsibilities
29:14 When to call in a specialist / upskilling
33:03 Consequences of psychological injury (costs/time)
36:26 Money-in-the-bank analogy: building goodwill
40:24 Next topic teaser: the 'naughty' staff member / wrap-up
———————
#TanyaHallett #TIPT #TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #WorkplaceBullying #PsychologicalSafety #TraumaInformed #WorkplaceWellbeing #Leadership #HRPodcast #PsychosocialSafety #FairWork #ManagerTraining #WorkplaceCulture #PodcastAustralia

Tam Callaghan had a realisation that made her feel a bit silly at first, and then completely changed how she understood her own anxiety. She was choosing it. Not consciously, but choosing it all the same. 
In this episode she unpacks the idea that anxiety can sometimes be a way of avoiding responsibility for choices we've made, and why staying in worry feels safer than sitting with the discomfort of ownership. She also gets honest about using worry as a hobby, what happens creatively when she chooses action instead, and why compassion for yourself and others is the piece that makes the whole thing actually work. 
In this episode: 
The realisation: why she was choosing anxiety over responsibility 
The Upside Down: anxiety as a way of avoiding ownership 
Which pain do you choose? The Mark Manson idea that ties it together 
Using worry as a hobby and what it costs 
What opens up creatively when you choose action over worry 
Trauma, habits and why some reactions are automatic, not chosen 
Drama, externalising pain, and the compassion that changes everything 
Being bravely loving to yourself as the conclusion 
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcast Join the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/ Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studio Formerly known as the 50/50 Podcast. 
——————— Chapters 
0:00 Intro & what to expect 
0:17 A surprising realisation 
0:46 The Upside Down — choosing anxiety 
0:58 My history with anxiety 
1:52 Noticing I was choosing anxiety 
2:40 Example: training and responsibility 
3:36 Which pain do you choose? 
5:05 I worry as a hobby 
7:02 Unlocking creativity — choosing action over worry 
9:35 Addendum: compassion & Stephan Bodian 
10:02 Trauma, habits, and automatic reactions 
11:42 Drama, externalising pain, and compassion 
13:01 Conclusion: be bravely loving to yourself 
——————— 
#TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #Anxiety #Worry #PersonalGrowth #MindsetShift #InnerWork #SelfCompassion #Responsibility #MarkManson #WhichPainDoYouChoose #PodcastAustralia #MentalWellness #Creativity #BravelyLoving

Tam Callaghan did the brave thing. She wrote the letter, had the hard conversation, cleared up a long-standing issue with someone important to her, and got the resolution she'd hoped for. And then she waited to feel great. 
It didn't quite work out that way. 
In this episode Tam shares what actually happened in the days after a genuine breakthrough, including the unexpected ego backlash, the self-doubt that crept in, and why healing doesn't always feel like healing in the moment. She also talks through the identity protections and parts that fire up when we grow, why discomfort after doing the right thing is normal, and what a quote from Chris Lapping about failure helped her see differently. 
Raw, honest, and one of the more useful things Tam has recorded about the messy reality of doing inner work. 
In this episode: 
Resolving a long-standing friendship issue, and what it took 
The Big Kahuna: writing a letter to an important person in her life 
The waiting anxiety and what happened when the response came 
Why she didn't feel as good as she expected afterward 
Identity and ego: why parts of us fight change even when it's good 
Chris Lapping's reframe on failure and what it unlocked 
A post-recording update with the full story 
Why the action is still worth it, even when the feeling lags behind 
  
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcast 
Join the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/ 
Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studio 
Formerly known as the 50/50 Podcast. 
——————— 
Chapters 
0:00 Expectation vs Reality: Why I Didn't Feel Better 
0:27 Owning a Mistake: Repairing a Friendship 
1:41 The Big Kahuna: A Difficult Relationship Story 
3:15 Writing and Sending the Letter (with coaching) 
3:58 The Conversation: Confusion, Apology and Relief 
6:03 Unexpected Backlash: Feeling Worse After Success 
6:30 Identity & Ego: Why Parts Fight Change 
9:06 On Failure and Transition (Chris Lapping Quote) 
10:52 Post-Recording Update: The Full Story 
15:44 Takeaways: Self-Love, Discomfort, and What's Next 
16:17 Closing & Call to Action 
——————— 
#TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #InnerWork #SelfLove #Healing #Courage #PersonalGrowth #IdentityParts #Authenticity #Vulnerability #BraveConversations #Mindset #PodcastAustralia #EmotionalHealth #DoTheWork

They're charming to leadership, devastating to their team, and almost impossible to catch. In this episode, Tam Callaghan sits down with workplace expert Tanya Hallett to talk about narcissistic bullies at work: what they actually are, why organisations keep missing them, and what to do if you're dealing with one. 
Tanya breaks down the key difference between a standard workplace bully and a narcissistic one, why the second category is in a completely different league, and how the DAVO pattern (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Order) leaves targets confused, doubting themselves, and unable to articulate what just happened. She also covers what gaslighting actually looks like on the ground, why documentation matters more than you think, and what your real options are if you're in the middle of this. 
This is one of the most practically useful episodes on workplace harm the show has done. Whether you're a leader trying to understand what's happening in your team, or someone trying to survive a difficult situation, this conversation gives you real tools. 
In this episode: 
The difference between a bully and a narcissistic bully, and why it matters 
The trail of destruction: what happens to teams when one arrives 
Why narcissistic bullies are so hard for leaders to spot 
DAVO explained: deny, attack, reverse victim order 
How gaslighting erodes confidence and psychological safety 
What leaders should actually be watching for 
Thinking like a lawyer: how to build your evidence 
Practical self-protection: documentation, written follow-ups, limiting verbal contact 
Your options as a target: cope, escalate, or exit 
The real cost to organisations that ignore this 
Do Yourself a Favour is available on YouTube: https://linktr.ee/doyourselfafavour_podcast 
Join the conversation! Do Yourself a Favour is on Facebook LinkedIn: https//www.linkedin.com/in/tamaracallaghan/ 
Do Yourself a Favour is recorded at Tailwind Studio: https://www.linkedin.com/company/tailwind-studio 
Formerly known as the 50/50 Podcast. 
——————— 
Chapters 
0:00 Intro 
0:09 What People Mean by 'Narcissistic Bully' 
1:06 Trail of Destruction: Team Impact 
3:14 Core Traits: Fragile Ego, Charisma, Managing Up 
5:34 Why Leaders Miss Narcissistic Bullies (Red Flags) 
6:42 DAVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Order Explained 
9:11 Gaslighting Effects: Confidence & Psychological Safety 
11:01 What Leaders Should Watch For (Patterns & Evidence) 
15:33 Think Like a Lawyer: Building Your Evidence 
19:21 Documentation: How to Record Incidents Safely 
20:57 Limit Verbal Contact & Use Written Follow-ups 
24:08 Maintain Professionalism — Don't Stoop Down 
26:40 Compassion as a Coping Tool (Perspective) 
29:00 The 'Ick' Factor: Confusion After Interactions 
31:26 Manager Responses & Possible Outcomes 
33:58 Options for Targets: Cope, Escalate, or Exit 
36:28 Cost to Organisations & Leadership Accountability 
39:34 Closing Remarks & Thanks 
——————— 
#NarcissisticBully #TanyaHallett #TamCallaghan #DoYourselfAFavour #WorkplaceBullying #PsychologicalSafety #Gaslighting #WorkplaceWellbeing #DAVO #Leadership #HRPodcast #WorkplaceCulture #Narcissism #SelfProtection #PodcastAustralia